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Produktbild: The Emotionally Abusive Relationship

The Emotionally Abusive Relationship How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing

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Beschreibung

Produktdetails

Einband

Taschenbuch

Erscheinungsdatum

24.07.2023

Verlag

John Wiley & Sons Inc

Seitenzahl

272

Maße (L/B/H)

23,1/18,4/1,4 cm

Gewicht

386 g

Auflage

2. Auflage

Sprache

Englisch

ISBN

978-1-394-17154-5

Beschreibung

Rezension

"Engel's seminal book on abusive relationships is both practical and empathetic. I particularly like that she helps victims explore their childhood to understand their triggers and why they're in an abusive relationship. It's easy to read and explains how to confront abuse, move on, and recover."
--Darlene Lancer, LMFT, author of Dating, Loving, and Leaving a Narcissist
 
"Beverly Engel provides fresh insights in the new, second edition of The Emotionally Abusive Relationship. The book compassionately considers both parties entwined in their reciprocal double helix of pain. In illuminating the significance of shame in both the abuser and the abused, Engel reveals pathways for clearer recognition and, ultimately, healing for those caught in the web of emotional abuse."
 
--Jerold J. Kreisman, M.D., author of Sometimes I Act Crazy and I Hate You--Don't Leave Me
 
"Beverly Engel's humility, clinical sensitivity, grace, and her expertise in her written works are just the tools that everyone needs to help with healing from emotional abuse. Beverly graciously writes about emotional abuse in a way that's relatable, resonates, and is easy to understand for anyone going through it. Her work exudes compassion, and she is able to describe abuse dynamics without disparaging anyone. She genuinely and unselfishly is motivated to help everyone heal and holds our hands to walk us through the recovery journey. I applaud her kindness and generosity."
 
--Dr. Natalie Jones, PsyD, LPCC (r)

Produktdetails

Einband

Taschenbuch

Erscheinungsdatum

24.07.2023

Verlag

John Wiley & Sons Inc

Seitenzahl

272

Maße (L/B/H)

23,1/18,4/1,4 cm

Gewicht

386 g

Auflage

2. Auflage

Sprache

Englisch

ISBN

978-1-394-17154-5

Herstelleradresse

Libri GmbH
Europaallee 1
36244 Bad Hersfeld
DE

Email: gpsr@libri.de

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Die Leseprobe wird geladen.
  • Produktbild: The Emotionally Abusive Relationship
  • Acknowledgments xi

    About the Author xiii

    Introduction to Second Edition xv

    Part One Identifying and Understanding Emotional Abuse

    Chapter 1 Emotional Abuse- The Destroyer of Relationships 3

    What Is Emotional Abuse? 6

    How Emotional Abuse Does Damage 7

    Determining Whether You Are Being Emotionally Abusive 10

    No Monsters Here 12

    Ending Emotional Abuse 15

    Chapter 2 Patterns of Abuse 17

    Domination 19

    Verbal Assaults 20

    Constant Criticism/Continual Blaming 21

    Abusive Expectations 22

    Emotional Blackmail 22

    Unpredictable Responses 24

    Constant Chaos/Creating Crisis 25

    Character Assassination 25

    Gaslighting 26

    Sexual Harassment 27

    Clear and Consistent Patterns 28

    Overt and Covert Abuse 28

    Intentional and Unintentional Abuse 29

    Chapter 3 Not All Emotionally Abusive Relationships Are Alike 33

    The Seven Types of Emotionally Abusive Relationships 35

    Part Two Healing Your Childhood and Your Unhealthy Patterns

    Chapter 4 Patterns That Begin in Childhood: Why We Abuse and Why We Take It 47

    The Repetition Compulsion 50

    The Core of the Compulsion- An Abusive Childhood 53

    Abusive Styles of Parenting 55

    The Power of Unfinished Business 58

    Your Original Abuser 59

    Another Pattern: Victim or Abuser? 60

    Anger In, Anger Out-Male and Female Patterns 61

    How Shame Affects Victims of Abuse 62

    Chapter 5 Complete Your Unfinished Business (For Both Victims and Abusers) 65

    1. Admit the Fact That You Were the Victim of Abuse or Neglect 67

    2. Acknowledge to Yourself That You Have Unexpressed Feelings of Anger, Pain, Fear, and Shame Because of Your Childhood Experiences of Neglect, Abandonment, or Abuse 73

    3. Allow Yourself to Feel and Express Your Emotions Connected to the Neglect or Abuse You Experienced 75

    4. Find Safe, Constructive Ways of Releasing or Expressing These Feelings 77

    5. Confront Your Abuser(s) (Indirectly Preferred) 79

    6. Resolve Your Relationship With Your Original Abuser(s) (Set Boundaries, Temporary or Permanent Separation, Forgive) 80

    Chapter 6 Healing Your Shame with Self- Compassion 81

    The Cure for Shame: Self-Compassion 86

    Repeating the Cycle of Abuse 92

    Part Three Stopping the Abuse

    Chapter 7 Action Steps for Those Being Abused 99

    The Program 103

    Specific Advice and Strategies 121

    Chapter 8 Action Steps for the Abusive Partner 123

    The Program 126

    Chapter 9 Action Steps for the Abusive Couple 147

    Stop Blaming Each Other 150

    The Program 152

    Chapter 10 When Your Partner Has a Personality Disorder 161

    Determining Whether Your Partner Suffers from BPD 164

    Twin Fears- Abandonment and Engulfment 166

    Strategies to Help You Cope and to Stop the Emotional Abuse 168

    Determining Whether Your Partner Suffers from NPD 171

    Strategies to Help You Cope and Stop the Emotional Abuse 174

    Should You Tell Your Partner that You Suspect They Have a Personality Disorder? 177

    When You Both Suffer from a Personality Disorder 178

    Chapter 11 When Your Abusiveness Stems from Your Personality Disorder 179

    Do You Suffer from BPD? 182

    How BPD Can Lead to Emotionally Abusive Behavior 183

    How You Can Begin to Change Your Emotionally Abusive Behavior 186

    Strategies for Specific Borderline Behaviors 191

    Do You Suffer from NPD? 191

    How NPD Leads to Abusive Behavior 193

    How You Can Begin to Change Your Emotionally Abusive Behavior 194

    My Personal Program for Overcoming Narcissistic Tendencies 196

    Part Four Where Do You Go from Here?

    Chapter 12 Should You Stay or Should You Leave? 201

    Strong Reasons to Stay 203

    You May Still Need to Leave 205

    Strong Reasons to Leave 205

    When You Definitely Need to Leave 206

    When You Are Resisting Leaving 209

    Trust and Forgiveness 209

    Chapter 13 Preventing Emotional Abuse in the Future 211

    For the Abused Partner 213

    For the Abusive Partner- Catch Yourself in the Act 217

    For Both Partners 218

    Chapter 14 Continuing to Recover 221

    True Power Comes from Knowing You Have Choices 223

    Key Issues for Victims and Abusers 224

    Specific Strategies for the Abused Partner 228

    Recovery for the Abusive Partner 230

    For Both Partners- Finding the Right Therapist 232

    Treatment for BPD and NPD 233

    Be Realistic about Your Partner Changing 234

    Epilogue 235

    References 237

    Further Reading 239

    Index 243